The Hero Mentality Trap

Recently i have been over worked and i was wondering why the drain in spirit was so intense. When ever i feel disturbed or unbalanced with work load i take a time out and take silence time or just re-reading my own notes. i came across the answer to my own trapped events and i wanted to share with you all. Do ask your self if you are also in the Hero Trap

The Messiah Trap

Reference: Berry, C. B. (1988) When helping you is hurting me. Escaping the messiah trap. San Francisco: Harper & Row.

Do you spend most of your time helping others?
Are you someone who helps even through the hard times?
But do you find that there are times when you just don't have enough time for yourself?

Are You
1. A Pleaser
2. Rescuer
3. Giver
4. Counsellor
5. Protector
6. Teacher
7. Crusader

What is the Messiah Trap?

Side 1: "If I don't do it, it won't get done.'
Side 2: "Everyone else's needs take priority over mine."

The Eight Messiah Characteristics

1. Tries to earn a sense of worth by "acting" worthy.
2. Lets others determine his or her actions.
3. Needs to overachieve.
4. Is attracted to helping those with similar pain.
5. Experiences difficulty in establishing peer and intimate relationships.
6. Is caught in a cycle of isolation.
7. Is driven to endless activity.
8. Stops when he or she drops.

How the Messiah Trap Hurts Others

The Pleaser - Blocking honest communication

The Rescuer - Encouraging feelings of helplessness in others

The Crusader - Is angry at others who aren't dedicated to the cause.

The Giver - Attempting to control others via gift giving

The Protector - Withholding information or breaking confidentiality.

The Counsellor - Promotes one-sided intimacy

The Teacher - Avoids intimacy by being "on stage."