The Hero Mentality Trap

Recently i have been over worked and i was wondering why the drain in spirit was so intense. When ever i feel disturbed or unbalanced with work load i take a time out and take silence time or just re-reading my own notes. i came across the answer to my own trapped events and i wanted to share with you all. Do ask your self if you are also in the Hero Trap

The Messiah Trap

Reference: Berry, C. B. (1988) When helping you is hurting me. Escaping the messiah trap. San Francisco: Harper & Row.

Do you spend most of your time helping others?
Are you someone who helps even through the hard times?
But do you find that there are times when you just don't have enough time for yourself?

Are You
1. A Pleaser
2. Rescuer
3. Giver
4. Counsellor
5. Protector
6. Teacher
7. Crusader

What is the Messiah Trap?

Side 1: "If I don't do it, it won't get done.'
Side 2: "Everyone else's needs take priority over mine."

The Eight Messiah Characteristics

1. Tries to earn a sense of worth by "acting" worthy.
2. Lets others determine his or her actions.
3. Needs to overachieve.
4. Is attracted to helping those with similar pain.
5. Experiences difficulty in establishing peer and intimate relationships.
6. Is caught in a cycle of isolation.
7. Is driven to endless activity.
8. Stops when he or she drops.

How the Messiah Trap Hurts Others

The Pleaser - Blocking honest communication

The Rescuer - Encouraging feelings of helplessness in others

The Crusader - Is angry at others who aren't dedicated to the cause.

The Giver - Attempting to control others via gift giving

The Protector - Withholding information or breaking confidentiality.

The Counsellor - Promotes one-sided intimacy

The Teacher - Avoids intimacy by being "on stage."

Deadly Secrets ...directed by Pugalenthii .

This is an extended trailer of a short film that i directed that won in the 3rd Indie short film competition in USA . This trailer is being sent for competition too. I hope i get enough hits on the you tube to convince investors to complete it as a feature film. God's grace....Cheerz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xedG5FxY1cM&feature=channel

"If you can dream it, you can do it

"If you can dream it, you can do it.All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~ Walt Disney

I was thinking about this quote for a while now. If it was so simple why does it not work for everyone?

You need the flow of cosmic energy to flow and make your dream/visualization into reality. Then why is that so many people have sputtered to failure?

The answers are simple. There are three reasons to it.

1. Most people dream about something and soon get into the maze of mind chatter and are on a roller coaster ride with emotions. When that happens how can visualization become reality.

2.When people dream of something and it starts to happens and when it slowly materialises they change their dream even before the first one is fulfilled..So things fail and they are back to step one.

3. When things start to materialize they become so proud and boastful as if they are one that did everything and start moving away from the centre.They cut the flow of universal energy by their words and behaviour .

Nice Motivating quotes....

Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you. ~John De Paola

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~Chinese Proverb

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day. ~Dalai Lama

If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing. ~Marc Chagall

...we are all held accountable to the universe for everything we think, say, and do. The energy of dominant thoughts and words creates conditions in our lives. ~Iyanla Vanzant

Steadiness, poise, serenity, and inner peace are signs that you're progressing. ~Dr. John F. Demartini

Mental whispers develop dynamic power to reshape matter into what you want. ...
Whatever you believe in intensely, your mind will materialize.
~Paramahansa Yogananda

That the birds of worry and care fly over you head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent. ~Chinese Proverb

"When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around." - Willie Nelson

the cause of all his trouble.....

About 500 B.C. it was written: "It easily happens that a man, when taking a bath, steps upon a wet rope and imagines that it is a snake. Horror will overcome him, and he will shake from fear, anticipating in his thought all the agonies caused by the serpent's venomous bite. What a relief does this man experience when he sees that the rope is no snake! The cause of his fright lies in his error, his ignorance, his illusion. If the true nature of the rope is recognized, his tranquility of mind will come back to him; he will feel relieved; he will be joyful and happy. This is the state of mind of one who has recognized that there is no personal self, that the cause of all his troubles, cares, and vanities is a mirage, a shadow, a dream."
~Joel Goldsmith

Is your brain like a radio?

In November, researchers at the Kavli Institute for Systems Neuroscience and Centre for the Biology of Memory at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) released the findings of their recent study, which reports on a mechanism in the brain that filters out distracting thoughts in order to focus on a single piece of information. This mechanism, comparable to the functioning of a radio, allows your brain’s nerve cells to “tune in” to the right station to get the information needed without being bombarded by a multitude of other thoughts. Researcher Laura Colgin and colleagues found that slow and fast gamma waves came from different areas of the brain, leading them to believe that they act like “carrier waves” which transmit information from one brain region to another. The findings also indicated that different frequencies were used for different functions, with lower frequencies used to transmit memories, and higher frequencies used to convey present experiences. While our brain cells can switch their activity to tune in to slow or fast waves, it seems that they cannot tune in to both at the same time, which is what allows us to focus on one thing without being overwhelmed by too much information.

http://www.superconsciousness.com/topics/news/your-brain-radio

James Cameron

Interesting talk by the Avatar director that all students must watch.

http://www.ted.com/talks/james_cameron_before_avatar_a_curious_boy.html

Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity | Video on TED.com

Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity | Video on TED.com

light house

take a look and enjoy this. Cheerz

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=167864259230

4 Types of Problem

4 Types of Problem
According to Drucker, there’s four types of problems:

Truly Generic (individual occurrence is a symptom; Two Different Kinds of Compromises)
Generic, but Unique for the individual institution
Truly exceptional, truly unique
Early manifestation of a new generic problem

sometimes it is good to re read the classics to refresh ourselves.

Highlights from the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness

Highlights from the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness
Dimensions and Perspectives of Gratitude
Co-Investigators: Robert A. Emmons, University of California, Davis
Michael E. McCullough, University of Miami

This is a recent study by University of California on the nature of gratitude, its causes, and its consequences. I would like to highlight some of the findings that I thought will be interesting to smart heart people.



In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

• A related benefit was observed in the realm of personal goal attainment: Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals (academic, interpersonal and health-based) over a two-month period compared to subjects in the other experimental conditions.

• A daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy compared to a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). There was no difference in levels of unpleasant emotions reported in the three groups.

• Participants in the daily gratitude condition were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another, relative to the hassles or social comparison condition.

• In a sample of adults with neuromuscular disease, a 21-day gratitude intervention resulted in greater amounts of high energy positive moods, a greater sense of feeling connected to others, more optimistic ratings of one’s life, and better sleep duration and sleep quality, relative to a control group.

• Children who practice grateful thinking have more positive attitudes toward school and their families (Froh, Sefick, & Emmons, 2008).

Have a compassionate mind.

Having a critical mind does not mean being harsh on yourself. The true secret to successful people is that they are compassionate to themselves.
.
People who are always criticising themselves do not realise they are in a judgemental mode all the time. It is fashionable now in our society to be critical to those people who we know and most of the times on people who we do not even know . [ Look at how society lap up the news of celebrities floundering and have a field time making nasty comments on them.]

The fact is people who are on permanent judgemental mode will ultimately ruin friendship by fostering unhappiness and resentment When they are judgemental of themselves they will deprive themselves of cheerfulness and distinction .

Learn to cultivate a compassionate mind . Give yourself the highest praise for even the smallest efforts and achievements. Be kind and cheerful. When you start with yourself you will progress then to be compassionate with others too and soon will pave a path to respectable friendships and successful collaborations.

Start every day to be kind to yourself and watch miracles happen in your life.

Be DIFFERENT

When you wake up in the morning, do you have a dream, maybe not as grandeur as Dr. Martin Luther King but at least a dream to achieve something or do something great or be part of something great for the country or world or humanity at large. OR you just want to go back to bed and hate the dreading day ahead?

Quickly in a few lines can you tell someone your goal with passion? Why does all this matter?

Ninety percent of people are just dreading the day ahead. When you read all the shout out of people you realise they are plodding ahead and not marching ahead to a cherished destination.

Be DIFFERENT. Have a goal to strive for. Get orderliness in your daily routine. At the end of the day be proud of your achievements for that day.

Each day is a block of brick for you to build a magnificent reality for your self based on the blueprint of your dreams.

The magic of 48 mins...

Don Crowther in his presentation at the NSA Summer Symposium, told the audience that 48 minutes is the magic number. Here’s how it works… Set a timer for 48 minutes. Close out all distractions and work continuously for 48 minutes. When the timer goes off, get up and stretch, get coffee, use the restroom etc, in the following 12 minutes. Repeat as necessary.

Don reports that this technique repeated four times a day allowed him to write a 200 page book in just two weeks. The ability to focus on one task for 48 minutes straight was the key.

Using this simple technique you may help streamline your daily activities and complete projects big or small that you have started.

What I have realised is that any technique this or any other can be successful only if you used it with discipline . So go ahead and try this method for a month and note your progress.


“Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.” - Spanish Proverb

choose composure courage delightful diligent frugal happiness humble joy memorize motivation pugalenthii smartheart suave wise wonderful

created at TagCrowd.com

Resilient people shared three traits

Diane Coutu wrote in the Harvard Business Review that resilient people shared three traits –

a resolute acceptance of reality,

a sense that life is meaningful, and

an exceptional ability to improvise.

ask yourself if you were to look back at the whole of 2009 , would your life reflect those three traits... be honest with your self.

“Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days… What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
1749-1832, Poet, Novelist and Scientist

Answer the questions below as best you can...

Answer the questions below as best you can...

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five winners of the Miss Universe.

3. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

4. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

5. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners ...

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Why not live in a way that your name is inscribed on people's hearts...its a lot more meaningful than on marble.

learn to turn off your internal dialogue...

Learn to turn off your internal dialogue.

If you keep talking to yourself inside your head.. your thoughts become so diluted that it loses its power to make effective decions.

When a though creeps in like a thief..catch the thought....dont react emotionally... just be aware of that thought.... Can you go just ten minutes without having a mental chatter... after the full ten minutes.. observe yourself.

You will feel energize and powerful. all this just after 10 minutes.. Just imagine what you will become after one hour.

Give it a try.. Feel the power of you will power.

Are You Awake?

Are you awake?

To be the best that you can be you need to develop a hidden that you already possess.

You need to become more self aware.

Self awareness will always open you to new levels of experience and more than often will uplift your energy and make you perform better.

Self awareness is an hidden talent that we all possess.

Write with Writers Workshop (Tamil) - St. Anthony's Canossian Primary School